Posted 09-09-2009

I have no idea of what to post in this special day (in the sense that the numbers are unique), so I will just put Frederic Prenji’s article here. The title is



There are many things that you can do to become a better person. You can work hard, exercise, and eat well for example. All of these things are great, no question about it. However, in my opinion, becoming a better person starts with being selfless. Doing good deeds for other people without expecting to gain from it is one of the most rewarding experiences that one can feel in a lifetime. Becoming a truly better person begins with giving outwardly. I’ve come up with this challenge:

7 days to becoming a better person.

Each day you do something selfless, that will not even take more than a few moments of your time, and experience first hand what it feels like to transform into a genuinely great person. Here’s the challenge:

Day 1 – Tell someone you love them

So many people out there never take the precious time to express how they feel to the ones that are truly important in their life. Expressing your love shouldn’t be seen as taboo or a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of confidence, and an expression of what you really feel. There is nothing more amazing than to know that someone loves you. On this first day of the challenge, choose someone in your life to make them feel that special feeling. It’s very simple, just sit them down and say something along those lines: “You know I don’t say this often enough but I do appreciate our bond and everything that you do for me. So I just wanted to tell you that I love you…I wanted you to know that.” In two minutes, you have made someone’s day….forget day, you’ve made their month! So pick a spouse, a parent, a sibling, a friend….anyone that you truly care about and say the magic word. You may get a little nervous just before, but once you say it, I guarantee you that you will feel amazing. Yes, becoming a better person is not a chore….it actually feels great!

Day 2 – Open your ears and listen
Everyone has their share of issues that they deal with on a daily basis. We all at some point need to be heard. We need to get things out and just blow some steam. Unfortunately, the art of listening is fading away. It’s becoming more and more of a struggle for people to find a good pair of ears to vent off to. So on day 2 of your quest to becoming a better person, you simply have to be there for someone close to you. That’s all you have to do. Listen to them. Let me tell you, I do this all the time with my friends. I make myself available for them and I just listen. You wouldn’t believe how it makes them happy to have someone listen to them. No opinions, no judgment. Listen unconditionally. You may not have realized the power of listening yet, but this exercise will prove it to you. It can make a tremendous difference in someone’s life, and it’s one of the best gifts you can give anyone.

Day 3 – Apologize
We all have made certain mistakes. We’ve all done things we regret. Unfortunately, the majority of the time, we never take the opportunity to make things better, perhaps out of pride or ego. So we carry this along with us. Sure, with time, its impact may fade a little, but there is a much more powerful method to deal with such situations. On day 3, it’s time for you to swallow your pride and apologize. Look into your past. Is there a particular person that you have lost touch with or haven’t spoken to in a while? Regardless of what happened, this is not the time to decide who was right and who was wrong. This is about healing a wound. Apologizing is not an admission that you were wrong. On the other hand, it is proof that you are confident enough to say it. This act will not only make the other party feel much better, it will inspire them. So by being the “bigger person” and apologizing, you create nothing but positive energy all around. This is as rewarding for you as it is for that other person.

Day 4 – Give away a valuable
Nowadays, the only time people give each other anything somewhat meaningful is on birthdays and holidays. What about the other 360-something days of the year? Simply giving contains so much power in and of itself. This is why on day 3, you will choose something meaningful that you will give to someone that you know will like it and/or benefit from it. It must be something in your home, that you already own. Perhaps a painting, or a book. Something that you hold dear and that will bring happiness and value to the person you choose to give it to. You see, sharing your wealth is one of the best ways to prove how much you care and necessary to becoming a good person. These types of gifts are so much more powerful than anything given on birthdays or holidays, because it shows that you gave it because you wanted to, not because you had it. This brings a whole new meaning to that gift and will make the person appreciate it even more!

Day 5 – Volunteer your time
The first few days, you have given back to the people close to you, but now, it is time to take this further than the comfort of your own surroundings! Giving back to your community and your society is just as important, and an integral part of making everything as a whole, a much better existence for all involved. On day 5, it is time for you to give some of your time away. It doesn’t have to be complicated. You can volunteer your time helping out at your children’s school, or at a local community center for example. It doesn’t have to be a full day or many hours. Volunteer the time that you can. What I mean is that instead of watching tv or surfing the web for example, take some of that time and do something that will help contribute to the development of your community. Ask around, could be something at work or related to a particular activity that you do. Nobody refuses a helping hand and everyone benefits out of it

Day 6 – Help out a stranger
So many people out there could use the help of some good people. After all, we are all humans and we should stick up for one another. I’ve always been amazed by stories of complete strangers risking their life to help a fellow human being. If we can just help anyone with a fraction of such a commitment, then we’ve all made a difference. On day 6, it’s time to do a kind gesture for a total stranger. Could be helping an elderly person with their bags, or helping a kid cross the street, there are so many tiny gestures that we can do in our daily life to help others it’s incredible. When you see a car break down on the side of the road, most people drive by, thinking that help is on the way or that someone else will stop. How about you become the person that stops? How about you become the person whose gesture makes a total stranger’s day? This is your opportunity to showcase how a good-hearted person reacts in such situations for the greater good of all involved.

Day 7 – Donate
The world is a big place, but in the end, we are a tiny community in the vastness of the Universe. All we have is each other. Although they may not live nearby, there are so many people around the world that need the assistance of good natured people. On this final day, it is time to take your good deeds global! There are tons of really good charities and organizations across the globe that make it their goal to help out those that are in need. Pick any organization about any particular cause that you may hold dear to your heart, and provide them with a donation. The internet makes it really easy now to find such organizations, so this final step is super simple and quick to complete. Donate whatever you can. The amount is not important. What is important is that even though your gesture was simple and quick, the difference it will make will resonate with far greater significance in the grand scheme of things.

So there you have it! 7 days and a better you comes out of it. As a matter of fact, if you have noticed, in becoming a better person, you have affected the lives of so many different people in such positive ways. With such small gestures each day, you have made a difference in your life as well as in other people’s, and that is what becoming a better person is all about. You may find that after these 7 days, you have now developed a habit and that you will continue each and every day to give back. If you have created a “momentum” of doing good deeds and that it will keep on going, then I have done my work. This can indeed become life changing! So you have the challenge and I would love to hear what you all have done and how it’s impacted your life and those around you


Hope you enjoy reading it…^_^

Jangan Dibaca!

efi & indraTulisan dibuat tanggal 16 Juli lalu, tapi ngga berani di posting, takut ada yang baca (apalagi mahasiswaku, hi…). Tapi pas lagi browsing dan liat2 chatting anak2 muda yang lagi pacaran mesra di sosmed, jadi gemes ama anak sekarang and kepikir kenapa saya nggak nulis something buat suami sendiri aja (kalo pacaran kan dosa tau, kalo buat suami kan gpp), masa kalah ama anak muda he..he…


This year we have been married for 9 years this year, and I thank God I have a successful and happy marriage. My colleague, who is about to marry soon in his ‘old’ age, asked me the tips in managing our marriage. Well, it’s a journey of a lifetime actually,but I try to recall what makes me happy of ours (well, I have to make it systematically since I’m accustomed to this style of writing ^_^):

1. Understanding
Whenever I am feeling down, of course I like to have a shoulder to cry on. My husband sometimes provides his shoulder for me, but other times he just says to me, “Pull yourself together; stop feeling so sorry for yourself.” Not romantic, huh? But I guess that’s because he knows very well when I need someone to listen to me or when I just don’t need his advice. By this way, he eventually teaches  me to be a stronger woman.
2. Kindness
There is no need for him to buy me a huge present every week, because to him, to be generally kind costs nothing. He shows me some consideration, rides me to campus n picks me up from work, gives me a cuddle in bed; tell me he loves me and what a great mum I am. There are so many little things he does for me that show his caring to me.All I want in life is just kind and loving people around me.
3. Honesty
He’s honest to me, no cheating on me as let’s face it he would not want me to be unfaithful to him, too. There is no relationship without trust; therefore he ensures that I’m in no doubt he’s one hundred percent mine.

Those are the main three things that I say about my husband. And they are the same key for successful marriage I believe. BTW, I tried to write him a love letter to show him how grateful I am with our marriage (the idea is not 100% my original he he he, I just got inspired by someone’s love letter). I want him to learn English better that’s why I wrote it in English (I know he’ll ask me to translate this, but nope, won’t do it hahahaaa). Here it is:

Dearest Jo,
Several people have asked me about the nine year itch, because they think that after nine years, married couples start to feel constrained by their bonds of marriage. I just laugh, and I can honestly say I haven’t thought that ours is so constraining. While some friends say that the more years the more fights they have in their marriage, we just make ours more worthwhile each day.
Well, we know it from the start.  We have the goal of being together forever, happily.  We know that after we pass on, if we have lived worthily, hopefully our spirits will be bonded together eternally in the jannah hereafter as man and wife.  We know that true happiness comes from sharing life’s experiences together, and because we know these things, we strive to achieve that eternal happiness.
Over the last year, our lives have started to settle into a sort of beautiful rhythm.   I appreciate knowing that we have a routine. It’s not boring to me.
I love you now more than when we were first married.  While that first years was tough, it seems so much smaller now than it did even last year.  I feel so free with you, so happy.  I can share with you my deepest thoughts, my loveliest desires, and know that you will hold them safe in your heart.
Those who have not experienced the joy of being married perhaps can never know the safety, security, and peace that come from knowing that both parties are totally committed to each other, no matter what happens.  No matter how sick you are, no matter how frustrated I might become with works and household jons, no matter how naughty our kids are, we stick together and see each other through every tough situation.  I love you for that and hope each day that I can show you a little bit of that love.
It’s easy to find you sexy because you are.  While some may laugh and say that it’s because we’ve been together so long, you give me goosey sometimes…and I love it.
You are my darling.  My fresh, exquisite, handsome, lazy-n-sleepy husband and I am grateful each morning when I wake up next to you.  Nine years or ninety, your love is my treasure and I’ll never throw that away.

I love you, and happy anniversary.

July 16, 2009

Your Jo.

I don’t know, we are both just different, but the three things I mentioned above have made us a solid partner (and you see our nicknames’ identical…we called each other Jo..simply short for Bojo). May Allah  always bless our love forever, amiin….

Lebaran without Mudik

mudikTahun 2009 ini saya tidak pulkam, karena tahun kemarin sudah mudik. Saya termasuk golongan yang nggak fanatik sama mudik Lebaran, jika dihitung2 semenjak menikah 9 tahun lalu sd sekarang, saya baru 4x mudik. Mudik pertama itu tahun 2002, anak pertama baru usia 1 tahun dengan hasil dia diopname di RS Lavalette Malang karena diare dan ISPAnya kambuh. Semenjak itu saya janji nggak akan pulkam jika punya anak masih kecil. Mudik ke-2 yaitu tahun 2004, anak kedua masih umur 1 tahun tapi harus mudik juga karena selepas Lebaran saya harus nyusul suami  sekaligus pindah tugas baru ke Balikpapan. Alhamdulillah dia sehat2 saja (thank to ASI, too). Tahun 2005 saya pulkam pas acara pernikahan adik bungsu, sekalian nunggu panggilan pelantikan Widyaiswara saya di kampung halaman saya. Yang terjadi saat di bandara, anak pertama sakit sampai muntah-muntah, demam sampai 3 hari, adiknya juga kumat sakit giginya. Tahun kemaren, entah kenapa kami sekeluarga kepengen banget pulkam, jadi lsg saja beli tiket Gajayana PP untuk 4 orang. Tapi kami ngga berani sering keliling2 kota karena takut anak2 kecapekan dan sakit, terutama si kecil yang nomr 3 (wong tiket balik udah beli). So, mudik kemaren nggak banyak ceritanya deh.

Jadilah tahun ini kami tidak mudik ke Malang. Kalau dipikir2, mungkin ini yang terbaik buat kami. Anak2 masih bisa jalan2 ke Taman Mini atau Dufan jika bete di rumah mertua, terus yang jelas ongkos Lebaran juga lebih ngirit dibanding tahun lalu yang dihitung2 juga jadi lebih dari 2x gaji. Meski ngga mudik, Lebaran kan identik dengan pengeluaran ekstra: ZIS buat semua orang di rumah termasuk pembantu, THR pembantu 3 orang plus 1 orang ojek langganan kami, THR ortu, parsel lebaran, angpao ponakan2, uang jalan2, belum printil2 tak terduga lainnya mesti disiapkan. Alhamdulillah rejeki Lebaran ada saja meskipun kami PNS ngga dapat THR.

So, buat yang ngga mudik, nikmatilah Jakarta yang ngga macet (luar biasa deh…dari Pondok Aren ke Ponodk Bambu cuma 30 menit, coba kalau hari biasa…). Selamat menuntaskan semua amalan Ramadhan dengan sebaik2nya dan Selamat Idul Fitri 1430 H. Semoga Allah mengampuni dosa2 kita dan menerima segala ibadah dan amalan kita, amiiin…